The Girl Who Ate Everything

Apropos of nothing, here's a random conversation I had last week with my awesome roommate/friend Janet. I thought it was worth remembering, so I wrote it down. And since I wrote it down, I figured I'd share it.

...It was a lot more amusing at the time.

It's flying off the shelves. Sad shelves.

Janet: [In the living room] I made some apple crisp if you want to eat some!

Robyn: [Me, in my room] Oh yay! Thanks!

J: It's not great. I forgot to add flour, so it's watery.

[Both go into kitchen, inspect crisp]

J: Yeah, it's...loose.

R: [Picks apple chunks out of baking dish] Loose apples. [Eats chunks.] Hot loose apples. Hehe. "New and Improved Hot Loose Apples." Mmm.

J: That sounds terrible.

R: It's like something from Arrested D—

J: It's like hot ham water.

Video: CloverMeadows4 on YouTube

[Enter bout of laughter/expressions of mirth]

R: I like the crunchy bits. Oat bits. Oat chunks. It's like an add-on.

J: "Oat Chunks—for an extra 50 cents."

R: Hot loose apples. And apple stew. With optional oat chunks.

J: It's like the saddest dessert menu.

R: Hot loose apples...in their own juices.

J: "Loose" just sounds so wrong.

R: Yeah, you don't really describe food as "loose." ...Like beef stew. That's like...

[In unison] Loose beef.

R: How about, "Thick loose beef in its own juices"?

[In unison] Euuuh.

R: Well, I'll keep eating this—it's fruit. Apples have vitamins, right?

J: Ehh, I don't know about these, they've been sitting in the fridge for a long time. Aged apples might not have any nutrients left in 'em.

R: ...Aged...hot...loose apples.

[In unison] Eeeeeuh.

The following night in the kitchen...

J: I ate the loose apples for breakfast today. Cold, with yogurt.

R: That's such a good idea! That totally works. Cold loose apples. "Loose Apples: Good Night or Day."

J: "Dress It Up, or Dress It Down."

R: I don't know when I'll have another idea as good as "loose apples" again.

Ta-da! Here's a weird deflated, leaking apple dude.