The Girl Who Ate Everything

[Warning: This is yet another food porn-less, non-review entry where I random about random crap. I know this isn't nearly as interesting or helpful (or saliva-inducing) as the food porn or reviews, but I'll get back on track later.]

Whoa, you guys really did click on the links. I made more moolah today than...um...ever. Well, on ads. I have to admit that I feel bad; I used you for your collective mouse clicking power. I haven't made enough money to actually get paid (you need to hit $100, methinks, and I may not reach that for another year unless I have periodical "CLICK EVERYTHING!" days), but if I do I'd love to donate it to a worthy food-related cause. If you have any suggestions, leave a comment.

After a most awesome morning of waffles that shall get its own entry later, I returned to my dorm for doom-filled snacking. I don't keep snacks around because I'll eat them. Yes, I know the point of having food around is to eat them, but I seriously do not buy junk food that would count as something I shouldn't eat in one day (as in, containing more than a few servings). Sometimes Japanese snacks sneak past this restriction, but they're Japanese snacks; they can do whatever they want. Enter my kitchen, clog my veins, pillage small towns--you name it.

I went home yesterday where my mum reminded me of the package of Tim Tam Double Coat that had been sitting on my portable record player (which I use for all those times I need to play a record, which hovers around "never") since...um, the summer. In addition to a package of regular Tim Tams, Bowb gave these biscuits to me in exchange for some Poofy wares. I can actually grant you some food porn:

Tim Tam innards

If you're wondering (but you probably aren't), I bought a large pink posterboard for the purposes of food photography. Next up: get some decorative plates/napkins so that Kleenex isn't my only option.

So...I've had these biscuits for--[looks at watch]--a while. The package said they expired in January. Haha, expiration? I laugh at expiration dates! (Unless it's something like meat or any highly food-born-illness prone food. Um.) No way these cookies expired! I brought the unopened pack back to my dorm last night and tried one. Or two.

[crunch] "Still good."

Today I ate four. Or five. You know you're in trouble when you lose count. No, I haven't looked at the (lack of) Nutrition Facts because this is one of those instances where I just don't want to know.

Conscience: "You ate four cookies."
Me: "Yeah, they were tasty."
Conscience: "Don't you feel bad about it?"
Me: "Uh...kinda...but they were tasty."
Conscience: "Do you have any idea what kinds of processed sugars and hydrogenated fats you just ate? And, my god, it already expired!"
Me: [stabs conscience with a fork]

On top of the Tim Tams, Jess gave me a pack of Orgran Choc Chip Biscotti among other things in a food trade (again, for a Poofy; lookit the happy couple!). Oh, so many cookies died at the hands of my gastric fluids. Since the cookies are free of wheat, gluten, dairy, egg, and casein, I can't say they taste anything like regular chocolate chip cookies, but they're pretty good as...um, something kinda sweet and cookie-esque, hence why I ate a bucketload of them.

On top of all that eating, this is the first day in weeks that I haven't taken the subway anywhere, as in I've stayed within a one-mile radius of my dorm, most of it spent inside my dorm, which is where productivity gives up and gruesomely dies like a salted slug. I tried to work on an anthropology paper, but it hates my guts. Reading the material over and over does nothing except increase my hatred towards dead European anthropologists and the courses that require me to interpret what they're saying, a difficult feat when you just don't give a crap.

Um. Anyway. I have a point to this entry, somewhat.

Hungry Planet

I haven't finished this book yet, but it's awesome. AWESOME. You need this book. You will love this book. BUY IT NOW. I stamp it repeatedly with my approval. [stamp stamp stampy stamp]

...Okay, you need more information. The book profiles families all over the world and describes what they eat in detail along with recipes, essays about food, and the best part of all: photos. Lots of great photos. Every section starts off with a photo of the family situated in their house around all the food they consume in one week. A Mexican family had a gazillion liters of Coke and a Greenlandic family had...BABY SEAL! This stuff fascinates me.

It also disturbs me. Flipping through the photos and seeing spreads of fruit and vegetables reminded me that I haven't been eating much of these lately. Food doesn't just nourish the soul my sugar addiction, but it actually keep us alive!...unless you're living on ramen and Pop Tarts, in which case it's probably doing the opposite. I ate a persimmon today; do I get a gold star? Seriously, I am eating so much unhealthy stuff to the point that I'm kiiinda worried. It's hard to believe I was ever militantly opposed to eating "unhealthy" food when today I eat just about anything. Maybe the self-imposed restriction had something to do with that.

Unless we're obese or have major health problems, we're likely to encourage eating. It's fun! It's okay to indulge! It probably wasn't a good idea for me to eat four Tim Tams (and I might eat more before the day is over), but I think my mum would be the only one to exclaim, "Robyn, what is WRONG with you? You are not my daughter." (We don't really look alike. We're about the same height, but I could crush my mum. BECAUSE I WEIGH A LOT MORE, in case you needed clarification.) Obviously I'm not going to excessively Tim Tam myself again anytime soon, but...[mumble]...food...

...Yeah, that thought ended prematurely.

Oh, I was disturbed! Right. I'm disturbed by all the crap I eat...but it's so fun. I try to resist the innumerable combinations of fat, refined sugar and complex carbohydrates, but then they poke in the eyes with really hot, pointy poking tools, and it's hard to ignore the searing pain of having your cornea infiltrated by really hot, pointy poking tools, so I give in while cupping my eye sockets and thinking, "You tasty bastards!" (Yeah, I know that last sentence made no sense whatsoever. I think it was "metaphorical". Or "insane".) I wish I could say that a simple banana would curb my dessert craving, but it would only fulfill my need for fruit. I'd still like a cookie, laden with butter or something butter-esque.

On that note, I'm going to bake cookies either tomorrow or Monday night (and to answer the same question I keep getting over and over again: chocolate chip and snickerdoodle). I've never baked cookies in my dorm before. Why am I baking cookies? If they come out un-horrible, I will tell you later. And I'll share em! Virtually.

And for a somewhat related question: Does anyone know where I can buy plastic bags to package cookies in? I mean, like the kind you can buy in stores, such as Dancing Deer cookies? Anywhere I could buy them in Manhattan, perhaps...um, tomorrow or Monday? I probably should've thought about this earlier.