The Girl Who Ate Everything

Blogging about food and whatever since 2004.

5000

...calories.

That's my rough estimate of how many calories I consumed today, give or take 1000 calories/a baby goat. Strangely, I don't have any indigestion, nor do I feel like my stomach is going to bubble over with foodstuffs in various states of half-digested-ness, but I know I ate a lot. Not just a lot portion-wise but a wide variety of ingredients. You know the food pyramid? Yeah, I ate that.

If you're wondering, no, I didn't unleash my gluttonous wrath on an unsuspecting supermarket or restaurant; I did it in SCHOOL. The institution of higher learning is also an evil hotbed of overindulgence if you're in the food department and have a tendency to stuff your face with anything in front of you that conveniently happens to be edible. Like myself.

For my Food and Society class, we had to write "Food And Memory" essays about foods that particularly stuck out in our minds. After much toiling (yeah, I just wanted to use the word "toiling"), all I could come up with where the fried egg sandwiches my mum made for me when I was in elementary school, thus strenghtening the "I don't have enough time to make you something more interesting" characteristic of my mum (it's completely true, not that I have anything against her for it).

Everyone had to bring in the food they wrote about. There are 25 people in my class. Do you know what that means? Yes, 25 different dishes, 25 different sources of calories, 25 different purveyors of deliciousness, sweet, savory, chewy, crunchy, smooth, and so on. 25. Here's the list:

  • Ackie and Saltfish
  • Tuna Sushi
  • Fried Plantains
  • Black Rice
  • Persian Halvah
  • Tandoori Chicken
  • Papas Rellenas
  • Pesto and Penne
  • Kheer
  • Fried Rice
  • Tuna Sandwiches
  • Fried Egg Sandwiches
  • Fried Cabbage
  • K'mishbrot
  • Banana Smoothie
  • Bagel with Lox Spread
  • Kielbasa
  • Noodle Kugel
  • Biscuits
  • Cream of Mushroom Soup
  • Sauce and Meatballs
  • Ginger Cake
  • Apple Pie
  • Ricotta Cookies
  • Italian Drop Cookies

Breathe in. Breathe out. Get a stomach pump.

The food was presented over the course of six groups, so the amount of food didn't see that overwhelming at first. The last group consisted of "Special Desserts and Confectionery", a great idea since no matter how full you are from the other food, you can always stuff in some dessert. Or a lot, in my case.

I didn't actually eat all 25 items, opting out of the soup and smoothie (not that I'm terribly adverse to liquids, I just prefer solids), but I ate multiple pieces of the halvah (which is absolutely nothing like the tahini halvah most of us may be used to; this recipe is similar to the one my classmate gave us) since it tasted amazing (and while a real foodie would probably describe what made it amazing, I'm gonna say, "Tough luck, I'm lazy and I don't really remeber what it tastes like because my laziness has formed holes in my brain"). It was one of those foods that didn't really kick in until after you swallowed it, at which point the essence of the food hit your brain, like so: *poink*. Yes, it was good. My other favorites were the K'mishbrot (described as "Jewish biscotti"), the biscuits (authentically made with White Lilly flour), ricotta cookies (never had cookies made with ricotta before) and ...the bagel and lox spread. Can you believe I've never had a bagel with lox and cream cheese before? It's quite good. Yes'm.

For the "authentic" experience of eating my fried egg sandwiches, you have to consume them at room temperature. I haven't had an egg sandwhich in the way my mum prepared it (whole wheat bread, untoasted, with unseasoned egg) since I was in elementary school. I did eat a "test" sandwich earlier this week, but it was right after slipping the egg out of my saute pan. Tastes rather good when it's fresh. After class was over, I ate one of my sandwich squares figuring I may as well try it (since I had half leftover).

All of a sudden, I was back in 1st grade, looking at my limp, slightly soggy plastic-wrapped egg sandwich. This only happened for a split second, but it was a really bizarre split second. Obviously, the fried egg sandwich did hold a strong place in my memory, although part of the reason is because I never ate them in another setting; otherwise, I wouldn't associate them with a period of life where I apparently subsisted on whole grain bread and cooked chicken embryos.

It was weird to have such a strong memory, a memory which, while neither sad or happy, isn't exactly...neutral. It hovers close to the sad side, but I wouldn't say it's depressing.

Oh well. Anyway. EAT PIE!

And lastly...dude, I ate so much today. My pants hate me for it. After my "Food and Memory" gorging, I ate even more food (not nearly as much though) in my Food & Production class for some more recipe testing. Another 4-5 hours later when I finally got home from campus, I snacked on more of my fried egg sandwiches. And an extra ricotta cookie. And leftover pumpkin bread from yesterday's rushed Union Square market jaunt.

...maybe I should rename this entry "6000". Eh. At least I'm not this guy. (He made a 30,000 calorie sandwich. And ate it.)

Comments

Augustusgloop / November 4, 2005 6:56 AM

That's so funny. I remember telling Mum we had to bring an 'ethnic' food for multicultural day at school and she gave us... omelette sandwiches. I was mortified.

Later that day I spotted them sitting on the Australian foods stand. *sigh*

ps. That 30,000 calorie sandwich was incredible. I am aghast, but impressed as well.

Amy / November 4, 2005 10:11 AM

Duuuude, my mom also made me egg sandwiches!

And what you've never had a bagel and lox spread before? You live in NYC, they're everwhere!

Mahar / November 4, 2005 10:59 AM

On the 30,000 calorie sandwich: my heart stopped for a moment there. I think it did so in sympathy its counterpart in the guy who actually ATE the sandwich.

~

In grade school, we had international day and we all had to bring food from different countries. Bwahahaha. It meant gorging on whoever's mom wanted to impress the other moms the most. The winner mom was usually the one who a.) had food the kids could actually pronounce the name of and b.) made enough for 2nd helpings for kids in a class of 30 and their parents---and NOT come home with any left overs.

Just sharing how SCHOOL MAKES PEOPLE GORGE.

~
Mahar

lori / November 4, 2005 8:40 PM

Rob,
You have an uncanny, indescribable way of looking at the world. No, it's not bad, it's... funny.

I can commiserate with the 5000 calorie number. I'm sure I've taken in that amount several times in just the past few months.

I also liked what you wrote about food and how it triggers memory. Next to aromas, food will do that to you.

Melody / November 4, 2005 11:02 PM

That 30,000 calorie sandwich...my God. If it wasn't for the fact that I've known about the Belly Buster 15lb-hamburger challenge offered by Denny's Bear Barrel Pub, I don't know that I could fathom someone eating a sandwich that weighed over 6lbs. Sure, two people are permitted in the Belly Buster contest, but that's still over 7lbs a person... O_o.

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