The Girl Who Ate Everything

What does pudding taste like after you put it in an ice cream maker?

Now, get ready for this...

frozen pudding.

I'm sure you're thinking, "Holy crap, no way, that's AMAZIN'!" And when I say I'm sure, what I mean is that you're definitely not thinking that because freezing pudding would obviously end up with something that tastes like frozen pudding. I can't say I was expecting anything else, but for some reason I kind of was. Because I have no life.

Frozen pudding has an odd texture: gloppy and gummy. I know that doesn't make it sound tasty, but it's not that bad. I didn't actually eat the mixed pudding since it was around 1:30AM when I made it (yeah, bad Robyn), but I ate the frozen bits stuck to the bottom and the inside of the ice cream maker container. Those tasted more fudgesicle-esque, if the fudgesicle were in the form of flakes that you could only eat by hacking at with a spoon.

I'll look at the container of frozen pudding in the morning and see if it's a brick (a delicious, chocolate flavored brick).

[update: Yup, I have a chocolate brick now. It's like a ginormous popsicle that I can slice. WOO. I think.]

Yesterday I spent my whole day inside, subsisting on soy-based "duck" substance, nectarines, a peach, and some dried figs. Which was perfectly fine with me, as I like all those foods. What was less fine was spending the whole day inside without any fresh oxygen/human contact/movement. Yeah, how does one spend an entire day inside when one lives in NYC and has infinity plus one things to do (maybe that's part of the problem)? If you're me, it's pathetically easy. I won't go into that though. Because...

Today I ate a bit too much. I feel fine, surprisingly, maybe because my digestive system has broken down and it just hasn't registered in my brain yet. But you wait; I'll go to bed and wake up with my stomach hanging out of my mouth. And I'll be dead because that's not really where your stomach belongs (if you're wondering, it belongs below your spleen, unless that's also hanging out of your mouth).

Sorry, I just painted a not-so-appetizing picture. I'll try to ameliorate that.

columns of cupcakes

I hope that worked.

Back to my story, entitled "This Is What Robyn Did On Saturday." I walked from my dorm to Union Square (about 2 miles) since I really needed the exercise. Would it amuse you to know that I didn't have a cutting board? I didn't. HAHA! Okay, that wasn't very laughter-inducing. I stopped into Crate and Barrel (because it's huge and pretty) and got an orange jelli board. Hopefully it doesn't suck (although it's hard for a cutting board to suck). While continuing my way to Union Square on University Place, I eyed a produce stand and focused on'''

FIGS! Beautiful figs. Sitting there. In little green plastic mesh (I almost said "tree") containers. And at reasonable prices! I was thinking of going to Whole Foods to buy some fruit, but'''

"I'll take two. ...And five pluots."

The guy also gave me three bananas, so I got a lot of nice fruit for $7. The pluots are the yellow (and sometimes reddish) kind, sweet and not so tangy, aka my favorite kind. I still went to Whole Foods to buy some more Greek yogurt, a bottle of olive oil, and a jar of honey, aka "Robyn essentials." ;) I bought the oil so I could cook with something although I forgot to buy salt, so I guess I won't cook much unless I want oily vegetables without any seasoning (er, not really).

Chipotle tacos

I went to Chipotle for dinner with Diana, Allen, and Melanie (by now you probably see a trend in my fooding group, although Melanie is new...but who knows, she might become a regular). None of us had ever been to Chipotle before but we were curious as to what it was like. I was curious at least because it's been getting really popular lately and I learned about it in my Food Management class last year. Also, I rarely ever eat anything resembling Mexican food (I know Chipotle is far from real Mexican food, but it's more Mexican than, uh, eating 10 figs for lunch), so I figured...mmkay!

I was rather disappointed, but maybe that's because I didn't get a ginormous burrito log like Allen had. It's ginormous. Yeah, I just said that but i figured by saying it again there'd be a greater chance of it registering in your head how ginormous it is; very ginormous, so much that I've said the word four times by now. I'm not sure how else to describe it, but we had to laugh while watching Allen eat it because we wondered how it was going to actually fit inside his digestive tract. Or maybe that was me.

Anyhoo, I ended up getting four crispy tacos. I figured, hey, I like crispy things; I put potato chips in my sandwiches! But crispy tacos just don't work. Do they? I mean, would you make a sandwich out of two thin crackers? ...okay, it's not really like that but the chances of the taco splitting down the middle thus resulting in a corn-chip-sammich are high, as are the chances of getting taco filling all over yourself. I should've went with the soft tacos but Melanie and Diana got that; "I'LL BE DIFFERENT! ZOMG!" Oops. I tried one of Melanie's soft tacos and it was nicer than the crispy taco. Doh. Then again, besides the crispy taco-ness, maybe I got sucky fillings. I probably should've said, "Put everything you can fit in it" but instead I got corn salsa, sour cream, and lettuce on top of the beef (which was nice, in that it looked like beef and was moist, although I was hoping it' be spicier).

GIMMEH SPICES! MRRH!

Anyway. Despite that I thought the tacos would be better (to better fit the price, which I think was too much), I ate all of them. And then the weirdest feeling set in...

Holy crap, I don't feel like I ate anything! BUT I DID! Those four tacos! Are gone!

Seriously, I didn't really feel like I had eaten anything. I ate lunch, so it wasn't like my stomach was empty. The question "Where did the tacos go?" is going to keep me up all night.

[update: From Chipotlefan.com I found out that my tacos had about 750 calories. Which isn't...that bad, I suppose. I mean, could've been worse, and by worse I mean a 1168 calorie burrito.]

The four of us went over to Magnolia Bakery, only to be met with a metal curtain of doom in front of the store and a sign saying that they would be closed Labor Day Weekend. Dammit. Other people were equally saddened by the lack of sugar-coma-inducing treats. I thought we could just go down to the Polka Dot Cake studio, but then I thought...

"How about Sugar Sweet Sunshine?"

No one minded. And, holy crap, Diana agreed! (Diana isn't really into desserts and sugar things, but we've been to Sugar Sweet Sunshine a few times together.) It's about a 1.5 mile walk from Magnolia to Sugar Sweet Sunshine, but I didn't tell that to Melanie. (cough) So why do we love Sugar Sweet Sunshine so much? Well, it has this for one thing:

lots of cupcakes

And this:

piggy pudding

But as I'm far from having tried everything in the bakery, I went for something new and equally sugar-coma inducing:

coconut cake

It looks a big splodgey, but I swear on the holy belly of the Happy Sugar Fairy that it's delicious. Also, it's absolutely ginormous. GINORMOUS. You really get your $4.25 worth, in my opinion. Two people should share this, but I ate almost the whole thing by myself because I'm a freakin' pig and no one else wanted to dig in with me. What fools they are...fools! And mean fools, because they knew unaided I' eat the whole thing by myself. They'd probably leave me twitching in a sugar spasm. In a ditch. For no reason.

coconut cake frosting

Ain't that frosting beautifully fluffy? Wouldn't you just want to shove your head in it, as long as you wouldn't suffocate? The three-layer cake was moist and very fresh tasting (I may have gotten the first slice out of the cake, although it probably went quickly as I saw people after me getting the same cake). In between the layers was icing with coconut shavings mixed in and over the cake was that FLUFF, MM. Now, my friends thought the cake was very sweet, perhaps overly so (GASP) but my reaction? Well.

*takes a bite* "...it's not THAAAT sweet. I like it." *eats some more*

It's typical Robyn fashion to refute that something is really sweet. Really sweet things include chocolate bars, Magnolia cupcake frosting, and spoonfuls of honey (which I eat much more often than the average person, or bee perhaps). This cake was sweet, but not in a way that would make you sick. Or rather, make me sick. I don't know why I have a weird sugar tolerance, but I suppose I'm just setting myself up for diabetes. HAR HAR.

Melanie's lemon cupcake was surprisingly very tangy and lemony, like lemonade in cupcake form (because I'm sure you've wondered, "What would this lemonade taste like if it were a cupcake?"). If you like lemon, you have to try it. Hell, I'm not even a big fan of lemons but I want more of it. Next time I go (and that might be next week) I'm just going to get some cupcakes and not kill myself with a stomach sized cake (don't ever get the cake unless you have someone else to share with). Melanie also tried the sexy red velvet cupcake since that's a specialty of the bakery (and I've heard other people say good things about it), but neither of us liked it that much. The icing seemed tasteless and the cake, while good texture-wise, was just...well, normal? Plain? Kinda? LEMON CUPCAKE OOWWWNNZ, MAN.

This entry is way too long.

You might be amazed to know that I almost never get stomach aches. I don't know if that's good or bad, as you can see that I ate a lot of food today, or if not a lot in volume, a lot in calories. Oops.