The Girl Who Ate Everything

Corinne insists that my writing has a "voice". I assumed she meant that I sounded kind of insane and highly excitable, like a puppy with ADD that has to pee. But I thought about it and I know what my voice is. It goes like this...

[cough] [hack] [wheeze]

That was genuine; I actually coughed and hacked and wheezed as I wrote that. WOW. Don't you feel like you've witness something highly authentic? Good thing this isn't a podcast.

Not that asthma has ever been funny, but if it was before, it's not now. (That made no sense, but what are YOU gonna do about it? BWAHAHAHAAR!) Fully functional lungs are good! Wheezing sucks! Inhalers suck! (Primatene Mist is known for causing major cardiac problems, but all inhalers kinda...suck. My general opinion of drugs is that unless you absolutely life-or-death need them, don't use them.) So now what?

I've never had side effects from using Primatene Mist (how many years do those things last?) but I don't want to find out. Yesterday I tried to not use my inhaler like i've done every night for the past few weeks but at around 8:30 AM I was coughing too much (while nursing a water bottle), kickstarting the ol' lung constriction-ness and sending me hobbling to the bathroom for Mr. Inhaler. I became asthmatic about an hour before that but it wasn't bad enough for me to use my inhaler. If I wanted to wait long enough then my asthma would've gone away but...I would've had to wait a pretty long time in a pathetic state. Coughing and wheezing don't mix well. It's kind of like peanut butter and lawn mowers.

A minute puff (maybe I'm doing something wrong but I rarely get the full blast, maybe because I don't wash the mouthpiece "after each use with hot, soapy water, rinsed thoroughly, and dried with a clean, lint-free cloth") of ephinephrine somehow floated into my lungs and a few seconds later after more deep breathing, I felt much better, almost as bright as a daisy (a daisy with asthma). Go back to bed. Sleep. Mm, glorious sleep...

And then I had to wake up an hour later, so it wasn't so glorious. It's because I had to meet up with my friends Jen and Monica (they're sisters) for Country Pancake House-ing. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE seeing them, but I had stupidly gone to bed too late the night before (rather, 4 AM that day).

my omelette of fun

I used to not like omelettes, but I rarely ate them (I must've only eaten crappy ones before). The combination of herbs, potato, sour cream, and onion was delicious. It's like a baked potato omelette. Mmm. Jen and Monica shared cheese blintzes.

cheese blinztes w/lingonberry sauce

I felt like such a pig as I had nearly finished my GINORMOUS OMELETTE and all they did was share one platter. And I don't think they finished it. They seemed to like it though, but got full rather quickly.

So back to what I was saying. While I'd usually not get omelettes at the Pancake House (not that I would get pancakes either; it's too much), I've decided I need to cut out wheat and rice from my diet for as long as I can manage without going insane. It'd be best if I cut out more than that (say, go back on a raw food diet) for the sake of functioning lungs, but it's too hard for me to do right now. Cutting out wheat and rice has already made me super grumpy as at dinner I attempted to cut a mango and ended up only get 25% (if not less) of the flesh off (the rest was stuck to the skin or the pit and not being in a good mood due to uncooperative mango, I just chucked it all). Worse, I think the mango gave me a tummy ache, unless it was the plums or the combination of plums and pumpkin seeds.

I think I lost track there. Um. Wheat and rice aren't my friends. I take them for granted since they're staples of many cuisines, but I don't think they're very healthy for me. I'm no doctor or scientist so if you want, feel free to think that I'm being stupid (you don't think that already?...HAHA), but wheat is one of the most processed foods out there and god knows where it's been (well, I guess a wheat farmer would know, but I'm not one of those). Rice probably isn't as bad but I decided to cut it out because I may as well. My asthma was at its worst when I was in elementary school, a time when I didn't eat much wheat anyway since all my family ate was rice. Only since after ending my raw food diet have I eaten so much wheat for reasons I don't know.

I was somewhat asthma-free on a raw food diet, although I didn't realize that until I became asthamtic again. As you can see, I didn't stay on the diet because it was driving me insane mentally (as opposed to...something else that can go insane). I suppose my lungs were happy but I wasn't. Restricting a few foods isn't such a big deal compared to restricting all cooked foods but this already puts a damper on my birthday wish to eat good Brooklyn pizza (haha, not happening). I won't eat cake either (although I guess I could eat an ice cream cake) so right now my plan is to do nothing. It's not so bad; I'm used to uneventful birthdays since it's always right around when school starts, meaning everyone is busy and even I don't want to do anything because I loathe the beginning of school.

If you're wondering why I wouldn't see a doctor or some kind of professional, it's because...I don't need to. And I don't really like doctors (it's a very general statement: obviously there are good health professionals out there, although even in my own family my radiologist great-uncle would've been ready to zap me with radiation because of my swollen glands, which went away by themselves/dietary changes). My asthma only gets bad around sleepy time, whether it's before I go to bed or when I wake up. It's rather convenient (figuring I'd get asthmatic at some point) since I'm at least at home and not roaming around outside somewhere. I suppose it makes sense that I'd get asthmatic at that time since my body is probably shutting down or repairing itself...although I don't know how the hacking and wheezing helps.

You read this far? Hm. Well. I'll have to eat much less from now on for as long as I can manage. Technically I could eat a huge steak and mashed potatoes on my diet, which is weird to think about because I wouldn't want steak and mashed potatoes. Fish and potatoes would be nicer. Maybe I'll buy some tomorrow.

Damn, I'm full of dread. I hope I don't need to use my inhaler again in the morning. I'd only use it if wheezing became too unbearable.