The Girl Who Ate Everything

"Whoa, I feel...dizzy."

[few seconds later]

"Okay, now everything's going black."

In 6th or 7th grade, I remember totally blanking out during a PE class while practicing tossing a softball. I hate PE, but hatred alone wouldn't make my brain recreate the "fade to black" at the end of a movie or make my stomach churn like angry bees with hats (or even normal bees without hats; they churn too). I went to a nearby water fountain and felt fine, but it was weird to BLACK OUT AND FEEL PUKEY.

In 8th grade during PE, my class was running around the field when I got black out-y and nauseous once more. Do the PE demons hate me? Nah, I didn't think so. Wobble inside, get a drink of water, sit down, feel better.

11th grade during physics class (physics may have been worse than PE), I was about to doze off but then my head felt like someome was pouring molten lead into it. Why would anyone pour molten lead into my head? And how? I was quite sure there was no weird person hovering over me with a pail of molten lead because someone would've said, "Robyn, there's a weird person with a pail of molten lead hovering over you."

What's my point? Well. Obviously, the random dizziness doesn't happen much. I can't recall it happening since that physics class, but for some reason it was at that point that I realized the black outs and nausea were due to dehydration. Actually...that's my assumption for which I did no research on. I'm usually dehydrated but nothing weird happens. (That time in 6th or 7th grade was under the flesh-searingly hot Taiwanese sun, mixed with a constant humidity of 200%. And bees. With hats.)

Two days ago when I went to Cheeburger Cheeburger, the level of water in my class had lowered by two inches over the course of the meal. Jesse downed 3 glasses of soda and my brother drank at least one. I wasn't thirsty.

For some reason, I'm rarely thirsty. Is there any physical explanation for it, or do I just have to force myself to drink more? I have a bottle of water with me most of the time (like now, *glug glug*) so I can drink whenever. I woke up yesterday morning with asthma (and when I started this entry, I was asthmatic--I'm fine now) and my mum said that drinking more water would help. Fasting would also help, so I'm going to try that on Monday.

Why not try it today? Well...I'm going to NYC in the afternoon to meet some friends and go fooding.

Something I've realized lately more than usual is that I'm not hungry. I can eat, but I'm not hungry, not for normal food at least. I can eat sweets on command (unless I'm full beyond belief) but I eat normal meals for the sake of eating normal meals. I'm usually more hungry than I've been in the past week, so I don't know what's going on. Not being hungry takes the fun out of eating.

For lunch I had some ciabatta bread and sheep's milk cheese and fruit. For dinner I had a turkey sandwich from Panera Bread, which was yummy but added to my decision that sandwiches aren't "Robyn" food. THere was nothing wrong with the sandwich (I thought it was going to be hot for some reason though, oops), but I would've much rather eaten a loaf of bread. Hell, next time i'm just gonna get bread, then I'll save money and be happier! Why have it any other way? For the sake of being nutritionall balanced? Pppsshhh.

For some reason, I inhaled the sandwich. Obviously, something I have to learn to do is CHEW MORE. I do chew, but pushing the blob of semi-digested food around in my mouth makes me feel like I'm suffocating after a while (yeah, I've learned how to breathe through my nose, don't worry). Actually, even when I don't eat quickly I feel the same way.

I just wanted a LOAF OF BREAD. HAPPINESS! FWEE!

...okay, I just found out the sandwich I ate had 950 calories. No. Biggie. Yup. NO BIGGIE. It's nice that the website has nutrition facts on it. Yeah. Uh. Huh.

Oh, and in between the meals, I ate random foodstuffs. Mini stroopwafels. Caramel coffee candy. I tried the Wonka Bar I bought on Friday and it was pretty good, even though it wasn't what I was expecting. The candy description gave me the impression that it was a chocolate covered graham cracker but instead it's chocolate with little graham cracker bits in it. Not bad, although it could've used more cracker.

And I ate a small pack of Nerds. When I was little, I thought Nerds were one of the coolest candies ever, partially due to the cute little square box and the rareness of occasions I'd get to eat them on. It's a nicer container than, say, a boring limp bag of Skittles. I guess they still taste good but I prefer chocolate-based snacks or cookies now.

...wow, I eat a lot of crap. I'm kind of surprised I'm not dead yet.