The Girl Who Ate Everything

For people like me, undereating triggers the urge to make up for what we have missed, but overeating simply whets out appetite for the joys to come
-Jeffrey Steingarten

In my case, undereating means my caloric intake drops for what is probably a refreshing period of time for my digestive system and overeating is…what happens when I don’t undereat. It’s rare for me to just “eat”, figuring that’s the central point between overeating and undereating (and such a point is, in my world, hidden in a black hole).

The past few days have not been good food-wise. On Thursday I chose to not eat much since I ate too much the previous day. I got to the 20 hour fasting mark before eating a few navel oranges. The next day I woke up feverish and decided it was an eating day, except it resulted in me terribly overeating to the point where I thought “Oh, this must be what fullness feels like: very gassy.” Saturday morning I woke up feeling a bit funky and decided not to eat at all. The day was a blur of depression and sleepiness, brought to a halt by my roommate returning and instantly instilling the desire of “get off my butt”-ness. I dragged myself to the school library—by taking the bus. I figured I didn’t need to benefit from 40 minutes of walking if I hadn’t eaten anything.

More depression ensued from talking to my mum about things. She unknowingly makes me feel like a moron, but then I guess that really does make me the moron for calling her in the first place. And like everyone else, she continually asks, “Why can’t you just eat less?” Well, my friends, not eating is a method of eating less! That’s my method. Respect it. If I don’t want to eat, I don’t want to eat. I might get miserable but the last thing I need to do is make it on Weight Watches “Most Wanted” list.

When I chose not to eat, it doesn’t last forever. I think the longest I fasted was between 48 ad 72 hours during finals week in my freshman year of college (I was a raw foodist so I seemed to handle it better then). I did a 40 hour fast from Friday night to Sunday morning and I didn’t feel sick at all. I expected to but instead I just felt…fine. No growling stomach. No wooziness. Hm. No hunger either.

But as you know, I enjoy eating (if I’m not overly depressed) and it made me happy that I didn’t feel like a sack of crap. After having a bunch of people tell me to eat (some who would probably also tell me to eat less; mixed messages really screw with me) I went to Chinatown at around lunch time and spent $4.30 on eight navel oranges, a green sandwich, a doughnut and a beef curry pocket. So for lunch I had two navel oranges and…everything else. The beef pocket wasn’t large, the doughnut was mainly air, and I was planning to save the green sandwich for dinner. However, foods that top “Robyn’s Favorite Substances to Digest” doesn’t last long in the fridge (hell, nothing does in my world) and after consuming everything else (in the order of orange, beef pocket, doughnut, and orange) I went for the sandwich.

Whatever they put in it that has the wasabi-like nasal passage deep cleaning properties was especially strong compared to other times I’ve had the sandwich. It made my eyes water. And I loved it. I don’t know why that sandwich tastes so good, but from the first time I had it I’ve thought, “This is my favorite sandwich ever.” If the bread sucked, it wouldn’t be as good, but the bread is a sesame-sprinkled chewy roll. Chewy bread is the win. Sesame is the win! Green vegetables are on the “endangered” part of my food list so the way I see it, I get a cup of dark green veggies (a total guess, but I’ll measure it next time to make sure), chewy bread that I’ve never seen anywhere else, and a heightened sense of smell—all this for $1.

inside the pocket

sugary doughnut

The beef pocket and doughnut were delicious, ignoring that they only cost $1.30 together. Re-baking things in the oven makes them taste a gazillion times better than just munching them on the spot. I wouldn’t have eaten them while walking home anyway because I try not to eat while walking (I figure that’s a bad combination) but letting them warm and crispify/soften makes them ridiculously good. A room temperature doughnut has nothing on one that has been heated in the oven. Maybe that was why I wasn’t totally satisfied with the $2 doughnuts from the Doughnut Plant. I don’t have much doughnut-tasting prowess but I liked the Chinese doughnut (first time I ever tried one) in its sugar-coated (not powdered sugar, but granules of sugar) oily goodness. …yeah, that probably had 500 calories, if not more. Oh well!

That should’ve been enough food to last me all day, but I remember that lovely place called Au Bon Pain that I hadn’t been to since last year and their 50% off bake sale form 4 to 6PM every day. Hm. The devil was on my side. I brought $5 with me (not with the intent of using all $5, but…you know) on my 40 minute walk to the Au Bon Pain near campus (there are actually three Au Bon Pains near campus, dammit). My plan to pick one thing that looked really good ended up with me buying three things that looked good but I never had before; a multi-grain (or something like that) honey mini-baguette, a raisin bran muffin, and a chocolate chip cookie. Of course, I’ve had a chocolate chip cookie before (or rather, I’ve had a countless number of them) but I hadn’t had Au Bon Pain’s one. There’s my excuse. As for the muffin, I just wanted a muffin; no real reasoning there. I also wanted some kind of bread but not an entire loaf. They had a chocolate cherry artisan bread loaf (those are 25% off during the same time) but I’ll have to try it some other time.

honey multi-grain baguette

Bread with a hint of honey is AWESOME and there should be more of it. I don’t see a lot of breads with honey in them so I think I’ll have to get a whole baguette of it the next time I go to Au Bon Pain (hey, there’s always tomorrow; the time I walk home coincides with the bake sale). What I love about the baguettes is that they’re super-skinny, increasing the crust-to-bread innards (or breadnards…nah, that doesn’t flow), a happy thing for people like me who like crust. Unfortunately, my jaw felt like it was going to fall off by the time I finished the mini-baguette, but I liked it that much that I would’ve kept going if it meant perpetual achiness of my jaw. There were even flax seeds in the bread and I do love me some flax seeds. It was mainly the hint of honey that made the bread so worthwhile. My mouth feels fine now (about an hour after eating it, but I’m sure the pain dissipated beforehand); all is well. I’m saving the cookie and muffin for a little later.

I’m not sure what to do about my food issues. Obviously, I eat a lot when I allow myself to. Should I have bought three things at Au Bon Pain? Hell no! But I already did, so …meh. I’ll have to make it up in some other way. Maybe I should fast once a week if it doesn’t drive me insane. I welcome ANYONE to come with me to Au Bon Pain and split to split my purchases with since its 50% off anyway, but no one ever takes me up on my fooding offers, such as “Come with me to Dean & Deluca and I’ll split this chocolate babka with you!” For a while I thought of giving half of my food to homeless people whenever possible but then I just eat it all. Oops.