The Girl Who Ate Everything

Rice, pork, and slaw. Together in harmony.

I rarely leave my desk at work unless I want to refill my water glass, eat a snack, or pee. But recently, I had an errand to run that would take me beyond the comforts of the 15-foot radius around my desk; I had to haul myself to Union Square. (Not much of a haul from my office in Chinatown, but it required putting on shoes, so...yeah. Haul.)

"You should head to Photo Tech now so you can get there before it closes," said the part of my brain that dictates responsible actions, like maintaining a well stocked supply of toilet paper, washing my sheets before—not after—they start to smell funny, and, in this case, getting my lens repaired. (A few weeks ago the zoom ring broke, out of the blue. I couldn't tell how bad the damage was at first, until I felt something being crunched under the ring as I twisted it, bringing me to the diagnosis of, "Oh, that sounds bad.")

And then, another voice butted in, shrill and uninhibited. "OMG IF YOU'RE GOING TO UNION SQUARE YOU CAN GET PULLED PORK FROM TABOONETTE YOU WANNIT UUGHGUHGG [INSERT GURGLY SOUND OF AMPLIFYING GLUTTONY]." That came from the far more dominant part of my brain that thinks about gratification and how to get it, preferably now.

What's great about Taboonette's pulled pork rice plate ($10)? Just about everything. I'll break it down for ya.

PORK. So juicy, porcine, and bounteous, you are. According to Serious Eats the pork is "marinated for a day with allspice, nutmeg, garlic then slow-cooked for eight hours," hence the awesomeness. The only part I'm not crazy about is the barbecue sauce it's topped with, not because it doesn't taste good but because it's a bit too spicy for my wimpy oral mucosa (I'm guessing most people wouldn't have a problem with it). Dipping every forkful into the accompanying cilantro mayo helps cool things down, even though it too is a little spicy, just less so.

Even better at cooling down the burn is the side of jicama-apple slaw. The matchstick-like shreds of jicama and apple are lightly dressed in something creamy and provide a refreshing, juicy crunch, a welcome foil to the pork. I'd be damn happy if the platter were just pulled pork and slaw.

...But I guess I'm happier eating the pile of cumin and garlic-enhanced jasmine rice as well. This is what makes the rice plate the clear choice over the pita ($8.50) or the laffa wrap ($10). BECAUSE RICE! THE BEST CARB! Case closed.

If for some reason pork doesn't fill you with high-pitched, blubbering joy, rest assured that pretty much everything at Taboonette is a good choice. Read the Serious Eats review for more info.

You wouldn't say no to a corgi video, right? Right.

And if for some reason Taboonette's pulled pork rice plate doesn't overwhelm you with a level of happiness akin to this corgi getting his kibble on, then I'm sorry...that your taste buds don't work.

JK, we don't have to like the same things, I guess. [bows head, looks down at feet, makes sad face]

Taboonette
30 East 13th Street, New York NY 10003 (b/n 5th and University; map); 212-510-7881; taboonette.com